Where Am I? What's That Noise? Hello?

So the funniest thing happened to me. I've actually spent the last year or so captive on a spacecraft that's been hovering somewhere between here and Jupiter.

No, I'm lying, I just got bored of my blog and eventually forgot about it when I removed the Blogger shortcut from my toolbar. I only just noticed that I had left a link here on my Steam profile, and decided to take a look. Of course, having done so, my immediate impulse was to delete everything, but I didn't, because that seems dishonest or something.

Long story short, I'm in college now, and life is in all quantifiable ways exactly the same as it was before, except that I now spend even more time alone in my room playing guitar. I figured I would post something here because the alternative is going to sleep which, as good an idea as it is, I don't quite feel ready for yet.

Putting aside how much of a massive tool I sound like in all of my past posts, and how many terrible music videos I posted, (Seriously? Disturbed? What the fuck?) I really did enjoy having the opportunity to write something non-graded every once in a while, without making a huge project out of it, so I may well start posting again if I can think of anything interesting to say. Or really just anything at all, it needn't be interesting. I suppose I could just scribble notes to myself like the sociopath I am, but it's somehow more fun having an imaginary audience to talk to. In the spirit of full disclosure, I should point out that I will probably not stop acting like a massive tool, because really that's the fun of Internet personae. There's also something here to be said about self-deprecating humor, because then even if I'm not funny, I can at least claim that I'm honest.

As far as the future goes, I may very well jump on the band wagon and churn out a review for Amnesia: The Dark Descent, once I finish it. On the other hand, I don't know what I could say that hasn't already been said about it before. On a third hand, that hasn't ever stopped me before. I'm also probably going to buy Fallout: New Vegas once it arrives, but if that happens I may not be able to stop playing it long enough to write a review. If I do review something, I will probably host it here, because I'm pretty sure my co-authors and I no longer give much of a shit about aB. My console gaming capabilities are for the moment compromised because my Xbox is in another city, and also because I had a lapse in judgment and allowed 23 to use it, and it consequently committed suicide. I may repair or replace it, but to be honest I would probably just leave the new one home too, since there is already an Xbox on my hall.

That's really all I have for the moment, but at least I have something here now in case I come back in the future. I may just write more of these pointless time wasting posts later, or I may not. We'll see how things look once I make it through midterms.

Grammar challenge: Find the unnecessary comma! (Knowing my style of writing, there are probably more than I am aware of.)

There was a hole here. It's gone now.

A week or so back, I finally finished Silent Hill 2 on my Xbox. This means that all that's left for me is to play the original, and Silent Hill 3, and I'll have completed the series. Of course there's always Silent Hill Origins.

(Hahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahahahaha. HAHAHA. Right.)

What I noticed about Silent Hill 2, mostly, is that it's fucking awesome, and I have trouble imagining any game since will be able to emulate its fucking awesomeness. I will say however, that I don't have anything against Silent Hill 4, as seems to be the popular thing to do. I don't know if it's true that it was originally intended as an unrelated horror game, and the Silent Hill name was pasted in to add sales. Even if that's true, I've got to argue, to everyone who bitches about it, "Has anyone made a real survival horror game since, cheap name switch or not?" The answer is probably yes, because I don't have the integrity to actually do any research, but there certainly haven't been any good ones in the last couple years anyway. Furthermore, I'm skeptical of that theory in general, because of how much of The Room's plot was explained in Silent Hill 2, several years before.

I will also point out that Silent Hill 2 suffers from many fewer translation and dialogue issues than Silent Hill Homecoming did. This is somewhat disconcerting, since Homecoming was made in America, which one would think would eliminate translation problems. Do the people of Double Helix know how to write dialogue? Here's a hint, people who interrupt people tend to talk over them. If they wait their turn to speak, it's not an interruption. I imagine some conversation at Double Helix went something like this:

Fred Douchebag: I think it would add a level of excitement to our game if it were possible for players to fall asleep in between our characters' lines.

Johnny Fuckhead (who writes the dialogue): I think that sounds like a terrible idea.

(Fred doesn't hear him, because Johnny was unable to speak until Fred had left the room, for fear of interrupting him.

Johnny goes on to write dialogue, complete with poor timing, that leads gamers everywhere to believe that the protagonist and, in fact, everyone else in the game is either mentally retarded, or a poorly programmed android.)

Add to this the fact that Homecoming decided to lift most of the Silent Hill movie, rather than come up with new ideas, and you have a game that, while fun and occasionally creepy, will stay with you about as long as the typical bad dream. (An hour or so, maybe.)

I won't complain much about that last problem though, since most of the ideas they did come up with didn't make an ounce of sense. Most of the new monsters look like something better suited to Doom than Silent Hill, and every one of them displays a level of sexuality that is somewhat uncalled for in a story about trying to rescue the protagonist's little brother.

It seems that most people connect the Silent Hill franchise with overt sexuality. The problem is, with the exception of the new, crappy ones, there were always justifications. Granted it would require playing the game to understand them. Actually, just reading about the game would do. Hell, I'll even explain them here:

Silent Hill:

Really nothing that sexual about it.

Silent Hill 2:

James is lonely, crazy, and looking for his dead wife. Most of the creatures in the town are based on her.

Silent Hill 3:

Heather is a lost little girl who's scared, alone, and vulnerable to rape. Wouldn't you be afraid of a big monster with penises for arms?

Silent Hill 4:

Walter is fucking insane, but then there isn't anything overtly sexual about this one either, so it hardly matters.

Silent Hill Origins:

Who gives a fuck?

Silent Hill Homecoming:

Alex apparently finds his kid brother very attractive.

See how it falls apart at the end there?

However, none of this has much to do with my point. Yes, I have a point. Two of them actually, though both rather ill conceived while I was driving home from the dentist's, still rather tired from waking up at the crack of nine thirty. Nonetheless, I'll start to wander toward those points now.

While I thank the Silent Hill movie for being the final factor that led me to my first real experience with the games, looking back, it had a lot of failings. Part of the problem is the fact that they tried to combine Silent Hill 1 and 2 into one story. Part of it is the same thing that always seems to happen when Americans remake a Japanese horror franchise. The movie was just a vessel for the monsters, and the plot and characters were subordinate. Unfortunately, in their excitement to bring the horror of the Silent Hill monsters to a new audience, the movie makers missed the thing that make those creatures frightening: the psychological impact. By taking them out of context, the lose their power.

There were a few creatures that worked well, but many others that didn't. The sexuality of the nurses, for instance, is completely out of place. There was no overactive libido to explain their appearance. Supposedly, they represented Alessa's anger toward the people who worked at the hospital, but if she was so resentful of their burn-free bodies, wouldn't she have punished them by making their appearance more grotesque?

Of course the greatest offender is the beloved Pyramid Head. In Silent Hill 2, it was based on the uniform of the Valtiel sect, and in particular one executioner James saw in a painting. He used this appearance so that he could punish himself for his crimes, while simultaneously maintaining his delusional ignorance of any wrongdoing. The Pyramid Head reflects James' guilt and frustration, shown through its violence toward the other monsters, its repeated murder of Maria, and the fact that it is invincible until James comes to accept his guilt. By contrast, the Pyramid Head in the movie was created as an apparently arbitrary punisher, attacking members of the cult and innocent interlopers without distinction or apparent motive.

Without dragging this out too much longer, my point is that the film makers could have done better by converting Silent Hill 2 into film, and not bothered changing anything. The plot was already better than what they came up with for the film, the characters are better developed, the monsters would have been in their proper place (they would have even had an excuse for the scantily clad nurses) and it would even have been a hell of a lot scarier. Furthermore, it's not the long of a game to begin with, and it could easily be shortened even more for film. The backtracking and travel could be cut out, the park area could perhaps have been folded into the preceding apartment, and the prison/labyrinth area could have been significantly shortened. The movie would have been made for them, which means, in words of their language, less time between conception and money. Also don't give me this bullshit about having to change the Pyramid Head because the original helmet wasn't wearable. It's called CGI, geniuses. I somehow doubt they set children on fire for the Gray Children scene either. The point of the mask was that it was heavy, awkward and painful. Once again, an innocent change made less innocent by the fact that it utterly missed the point.

The other point is about Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. It's directed at Sony:

Dear Sony,

Do you know why people don't buy your PS3? It's because it's a glorified bluray player with no good games, except those that can be had for less on the 360. (Okay, so there's inFamous. You want a fucking trophy?) Do you know why there are no good games? It's because when you're offered one (Silent Hill: SM) you release it on the PS2 instead of the PS3. Do you see Microsoft releasing Xbox games? Remind me which console is the preference of hardcore gamers the world over?

Don't even think about saying the graphics aren't up to the PS3's standards. What the fuck have you done with graphics anyway? The only game I've seen surpass the 360's capabilities was Killzone 2, an underwhelming, stock shooter whose graphics weren't even noticeable after the opening cutscene, since everything was gray and red anyway, and since I was trying too hard not to get killed to pay much attention to the light shining off my enemies' helmets. Come to think about it, I don't think the Helghast armor was reflective anyway.

Now there's a new Silent Hill game, that even looks half way decent, and my choices are to buy a PSP, glorified PDA that it is, buy a Wii, which suffice it to say is not at all my cup of tea, or pay too much money for a console that, while good, is a generation old. While we're on this topic, do you know why the PS2 still costs so much? It's because no one fucking wants the PS3.

I know that, being Sony, it won't break you if your console isn't the hit it should be, but if you're going to be in the market, at least pay some fucking attention.

I apologize what my be an excess of inappropriate language on my part. It's just that I find incompetence irritating.

Humbly yours,

20cc

And Just When You Thought He Was Gone...

There's a message buried in that title. It only becomes evident if you look at what I just wrote on anyButton too. The message is that I erroneously believe that a title ending in an ellipsis is an appropriate substitute for humor. This is because I'm tired, and nothing has happened that would make a particularly funny title ("On the Merits of Wasting a Month and a Half Doing Nothing." Actually, that one's a little better.)

So you ask, "What the Hell do you want 20cc? Are you just trying to waste my time or do you have something meaningful to say?"

A brilliant question, my friend. The answer is of course, "A little of both."

I do actually have news, for instance:

anyButton is actually getting a real website. I won't post the official URL until it's really working, but honestly I think I may have posted it a long time ago on aB anyway, so it hardly matters. We also have a Twitter now, for whatever reason, and have been bouncing around ideas for new formats. Maybe something, you know, actually funny.

In other news:

I'm currently listening to CUBErt. That is, the song by System of a Down, in case it's also like some obscure band of which I haven't heard.

In other news:

Posting very short tidbits separated by double returns is a great way to artificially bulk up your blog post.

Good stuff, right?

Oh and by the way:

He's coming to get you.

If any of you were wondering, that dude is Henrik Klingenberg,

the Finnish keyboardist best known as a member of the

power/(arguably)progressive metal band Sonata Arctica.

If any of you haven't heard of them, I happily invite you to

find something heavy to hit yourself with right now.

I Say, Bloody Hell.

I've tried to avoid posting videos of my guitar playing, because I'm so abysmal at it. I thought this was pretty funny though, so what the hell.

This is me trying to play the intro to All That Remains' Chiron. When I get to the high G#, I hit one of the most perfect pinch harmonics I've ever played, completely accidentally. The shock of it made me mess up the rest of the intro. Dammit. Also, yes, I know it's synchronized poorly. It's Blogger's fault.

And this is the same intro, without the sucking. This one isn't funny, I'm just putting it here because I was trying to show my friend, but the video is too big to email.

In other guitar news, I now see why my friend (not the one mentioned above) complained when I tried to do pickslides on his guitar, as I just tore the shit out of my pick.

Anyway, now that I've done this, I'll probably ignore the blog for another few weeks or so. À Bientôt!

EDIT:

Apparently it's not Blogger's fault. I tried uploading the video to Youtube and embedding from there, but had the same problem. I'll mess around with my video settings some time when I don't have so much homework.

Also, here's the (also poorly synchronized) music video for the above song, so you can hear how much better ATR is at it.

Somewhere on Maine Street

I'm on the road for the week, so reasonably I won't have a review. Unfortunately, from the state of my school work, it's starting to look like I won't have time to review a game for next week either. My tentative plan is to review Prince of Persia (which I played through last weekend) so that I have something to show, but I don't have to find time to play through another game. This is unless anyone feels like writing my LTP for me.

Anyone?

Damn.

Moving on then. I do actually have something to write for this week. On a whim, I decided I would try my hand at reviewing a restaurant, just to keep you guessing on what this blog is actually about. I recognize that this is going to be written for a rather more limited audience, and that I have absolutely experience reviewing food, but I felt it would be a disservice not to try and spread the word to my followers (all four of you).

So if any of you happen to be driving through the Hudson River Valley area for any reason, you might find your way to the town of Rhinebeck, where there is a restaurant called Tarrapin. Twice my tireless college search has led me there, and both times I was impressed. The terra cotta colored building suggests a tendency toward Spanish or Mexican  cuisine, and while that's true to a degree, it by no means encompasses the entirety of the menu. There's a wide selection of gourmet food available from specialty salads to a variety of sandwiches to pasta to some of the most interesting quesadillas you can find. In addition, there are a number of interesting tapas items, and some well portioned, delicious deserts. Not only is the food delicious, but the portions are small enough that you won't feel overwhelmed at the end of the meal. Throw in a friendly staff and a quaint, small town setting, and you've got a really remarkable place to relax for an hour or so with some friends and some food. Even if you're not in the mood for a meal, you can have a seat on the patio and grab an iced tea and some great tapas, like duck liver quesadillas, goat cheese wantons, mini burgers, and small pieces of lamb chop with chimichurri.

And that's my first restaurant review. Another item of note is that I've discovered that the buildings in Manhattan are tall enough that they apparently interfere with my GPS. Yet another reason the city is best observed from a distance.

I'll throw in my latest musical obssession for good measure. I insist on continuing to embed videos, even if they sometimes don't fit into the blog's format, because it looks better than a hyperlink.

I admire this band for Craig Mabbit's ability to sing and scream with equal intensity and skill. Also who can help but love his creepy antics?

H.A.W.X.

Review of Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X. on anyButton.

Like WoW, but Free.

How many of you out there play MMORPGs?

How many of you are resentful that companies charge you a monthly fee for a game you've already paid for?

How many of you are angry that Blizzard is spending all of its energy on World of Warcraft, instead of advancing the plot through a game that doesn't require an internet connection and monthly subscription?

I'm afraid I can't do anything about that last problem. However, if you're looking for the MMO experience without the cost, I may have a suggestion. Elliot of the Woods, who has written for anyButton under the name Bolt Action, has a new blog called Real Live Events. RLE is a sort of alternate reality game inspired by the MMO's live event. Elliot's plan is to release live events for real life. He comes up with quests, arranges objectives and rewards, and asks participants to leave comments with their success (or, presumably, failure) stories.

The first event was posted yesterday, and it looks like the site may be shaping up to be an interesting experience for those who partake. I encourage you to check it out, especially any D&D players, LARPers or jaded MMO-players.